March 29, 2020: Day 14 - Playing with Poetry

Around this time of the year, my students and I spend a brief amount of time writing poetry.  It's the one time in the year that they really get any exposure to prose and it's one of my favorites.  The thing about poetry is that it demands to be felt and teenagers FEEL.  They aren't always aware of all of their emotions, but they are so good at adequately pouring feelings out onto the page. 

This year, I shamelessly stole an idea from a former high school ELA teacher had them write poems following a form of a fairly famous spoken word poet.  The poem is called "My Honest Poem" and it's written and spoken by Rudy Francisco.  Look him up, he's got some terrific stuff out there! 

Their poems turned out amazing.  I loved all of them.  They made me laugh, they made me tear up, they made me wonder.

They had so many beautifully-written, relatable lines in their poems, that I decided to pull a line from each person's poem and created a "class poem."  They turned out really cool.  Here is one of the poems done in this style.  I'm so sad I never got to share these with my students. 

Teenage Honesty Poem (first edition)

I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like everyone is judging me constantly.

I’m scared of change.

I have … an anger problem when I get mad , but... I don't like to argue 

Sometimes I wonder what the dogs say about me. 

Sometimes …  I scare myself by thinking of the worst

I have an odd fascination with … wanting to jump out of a plane

I don’t know how to stop being awkward.

But I don’t allow myself to be afraid…  on the outside.

I’ve never been to jail, but my thoughts are trapped behind bars inside my brain 

Sometimes I wonder what my pillow would say about me.

I wonder what I would do if I was put in a life or death situation 

I’m afraid if you see the real me you won’t like it

I’m stuck on this tiny iceberg, one wrong slip and it’s the end of what we call our friendship.

I’m still learning how not to argue with people

But I don’t allow myself to fail

I’ve never been truly heartbroken, but I know what it’s like to break myself to fit standards 

I have … pure will

I’m still learning how …be a better person

I’m a sucker for hope.

Wow. Just reading it again brings a smile to my face. Teenagers: full of contradictions, fear, vulnerability. There is so much power in their words - and they don't even know it.

March 28, 2020: Day 13 - Yes And...

I find the human brain fascinating.  There are so many things our brains do, with and without us even thinking about it.  It's an incredibly complex organ, performing multiple tasks every minute, every second, of every day.  There is no shortage of absolutely phenomenal things our brains can do.  But, one of the coolest things about this marvelous thinking organ is that it has the capacity to hold two opposing ideas in our minds...at once.

I've been thinking about this a lot, in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic.  I see tons of posts everyday encouraging us to find the joys and blessings of every passing day sheltered in place, but I see every bit as many posts centered on the frustrations and inconveniences of this experience.  Here's what I think.  We can have both.  We can do both.  We can be both.

Our fantastical brains can allow us to both feel happy for increased time with our families at home, and also be a little overwhelmed that we have, in fact, so much time together, at home. 

We can feel really anxious about having to go to the store and opening ourselves up to potential life-threatening germs, and also feel really appreciative that there's enough money in the bank to buy food from the market.

Some of us may feel anger towards our political leaders and local politicians, and still experience a sense of peace for the personal decisions we are making for ourselves and our families.

With modern technology, those of us who find ourselves more isolated than others have the opportunity to connect through various technological means.  We can be distanced and social at the same time.

We can fear for the health care workers that are being sent to help people without proper gear and equipment, and still feel safe in the comfort of our own homes.

We can be disappointed about sports seasons, weddings, graduations and other events being cancelled, but we can also feel grateful for what we do have presently.

We can experience hope, and still feel like everything is falling apart - everywhere around us.

In our society, we spend so much time trying to make situations this or that.  Democrat, Republican.  Cats or dogs.  Heroes or villains.  Right or wrong.  Black or white.  Everything feels like an either or proposition.  But, the reality is, the world is both a terrible and wonderful place.  Good, and bad, things do happen here.  We are surrounded by dualities in our complex, complicated lives, but we do not have to succumb to them. 

To think we have to be one way or the other in such a singular fashion is a false choice.  American writer, and novelist, F. Scott Fitzgerald, once said, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." I find so much comfort there.  We don't have to choose one way to be, think, or feel over another. Our brains have the capacity to choose "both."  Do we?  

 

March 27, 2020: Day 12 - Hilarious $#!t My Family Says Whilst Sheltered In Place

So - I don't know if everyone realizes this but there's but nothing on television except Coronavirus.  It's a constant battering ram of news cycles.  More reported cases.  More deaths.  More calamity.  It's actually exhausting - with every new report, I have to actively work against feeling hopeless and stressed.

It's too much.

So earlier this week, while looking for a distraction from all things Coronavirus, a friend asked me if I had watched the Netflix docuseries "Tiger King." I hadn't even heard of it and instantly looked it up.  I mean - it's not like I had anything else to do.  

This is the proverbial boat we found ourselves in this week.

 
 My sister, mom, husband and I started watching that day - and I'm not kidding you...It. Is. Something. Else.  A lot of people say there are a lot of tv shows and movies that are absolutely nuts, but this one - this one puts all the rest to shame.  Nothing compares to this show.

And, we're only on Episode 4!

Not everyone in the house is digging the docuseries as much as I am.  My wonderful, smart, brilliant, 82 year old mother has not entirely embraced the Tiger King.  Here's a little glimpse of watching the show with Jean - which, I promise you, only adds more hilarity to the entire spectacle...

Episode 1:  "These people. are. strange." (Heavy emphasis on strange.)

Episode 2:  Silence (I assume she's shocked speechless by this point.)

Episode 3:  She walked out.

Episode 4:  "Oh, Lordy!  The smartest things on this show are the tigers!" (She's not wrong.)

If you're watching, or have watched the Tiger King, you can understand these reactions perfectly.  If you haven't watched, and are considering watching, please don't dare say I recommended it to you.  I can't bear that kind of responsibility right now.  But, if you do decide to watch...

Stay tuned for more hilarious $#!t my family says whilst sheltered in place, as this will likely be a recurring segment on the blog!

March 26, 2020: Day 11 - Hope for Humanity

If you Google the question, "What does it mean to be human?" you will get over ten billion hits.  Ten. Billion.  Let me get this straight:  humans, myself included, are turning toward an electronic platform to explain to us who we are?  Have we lost our minds?  What can the all-mighty internet tell us about ourselves that we don't already know?  Two things are clear: 1.) We are obsessed with ourselves and 2.) We are not at all self-aware.

Quickly glancing through the billions of hits, there are voices of artists, scientists, philosophers, politicians, writers, religious leaders and a whole host of other keyboard crusaders spending great amounts of time, and thought, communicating their interpretations of what it means to be human.  And, yet, each voice, each person, has their own definition of the human experience.  Is that, in and of itself, what it means to be human?  Why is it so difficult for us to understand our own human-ness?

We know we are human beings by virtue of just being born.  But, we struggle with the concept of being human because humans are capable of a great many atrocities, as well as a great many achievements.  These two factors taken together makes it confusing to determine who we are as a collective - as humanity.  If there is one good thing to come of Coronavirus, maybe it's this: the true essence of our humanity. 

Sometimes it's hard to see the good when we've been told to isolate ourselves from each other and stay in our homes.  It's difficult to recognize each other's benevolence when we feel disconnected from our communities.  It is an innate challenge to preserve our humanity, when so much of who we think we are is tied to our connections with others.  But, we, as a people, are adapting to this situation and figuring out how to extend our true humanity - our mercy, our compassion, our understanding, our generosity and our love.   

I see people I know sewing masks for our front-line health care workers.

I see educators volunteering to assist with childcare needs for our health care workers.

I see children designing pictures - with hopeful messages and symbols - to hang in their windows or post on street signs in their neighborhoods.

I see people stepping up to help out their literal neighbors, especially those that are aged or compromised in some way, in order to get them groceries and other goods.

I see restaurateurs opening their doors to students, who in the absence of school are without meals, to ensure that they have something to eat.

I see grocery stores protecting our elderly shoppers by providing them with specific hours to shop.

I see friends dropping off baked goods, and other favorite treats, on each other's doorsteps to help them get through their days.

I am hearing of church groups calling their parishioners to just check in and see how they're doing and if they need anything.

I see many of us are following state edicts and guidelines to shelter in place, in order to help protect those of us that are more vulnerable to this virus.

I see people hosting virtual happy hours with open invitations to prevent social isolation.

I see fitness instructors offering their workouts online - for free - to help keep people moving and healthy.

I see former students, and friends of mine, who are posting crisis line phone numbers to remind us all that help is a phone call, or a text, away.

These are all examples I am witnessing daily in my own little sphere of being.  There are even more examples of people coming together from all over the globe.

A few of the more notable examples include the residents in Italy who sang together from their balconies, people in Spain, Italy, and Israel have been seen giving rounds of applause to healthcare workers arriving on the scene, and a Michelin-star winning chef in the UK has prepared food boxes for those in need.

And, possibly, the most hopeful aspect of all of these endeavors is that they seem to be contagious.  It would appear that we are experiencing an epidemic of our humanity in the midst of a global pandemic.  Even in the midst of tragedy, catastrophe, devastation, and unimaginable loss, we, humans are starting to remember those among us that are in vulnerable positions - the elderly, the compromised, and the young who are forced to shelter in place with abusers, to name a few.  Our natural environment is improving.  By the looks of it, humans are exhibiting their humanity.

I don't know what the definitive answer is on what it means to be human.  But, it's evident that in times of crises, like the Coronavirus, a light is shone brightly on our humanity.  Let the light continue to illuminate our collective goodness in the face of all that is dark, for that is where hope lives.

March 25, 2020: Day 10 - The Magical World of Judy

Welcome to my magical world.  Just reflecting and laughing today.  That is all. 

March 24, 2020: Day 9 - Will the Kids Be All Right?

I'm an expert in the field of worrying.  I worry like it's my second job (it doesn't pay well, let me tell ya!).  There's no shortage of things I can find to worry about on a daily basis.  I'm sure I'm among great company in my worrying these days.  Worry, worry, it's everywhere.  

But, tonight, I'm losing sleep over our precious young people. I'm worried about my students, ya'll.

I know my students.  I am often humbled. and honored, by what they choose to share with me - even when it's more than I'd like to know!  I'm proud to know them, their histories, their stories.  And, I know them - who they are, where they come from, and what they're about. 

I know that some of my students are enjoying this time away from school because they can enjoy this time away from school.  Some of my students have cohesive family units to support them through this time.   They have plenty of food to nourish their growing bodies while they are home all day.  They have computers to access educational materials and supplemental learning opportunities.  They may even have families that are spending additional downtime with them through board games, puzzles, cooking, and watching tv.  These students can better manage their feelings of fright and anxiousness about the world because the people around them have the capacity to help them regulate their emotions.  I know that many of them live in a safe place and have warm beds to sleep in at night. For these students, this time is utopian.  It's great.  Years down the road, they may look back on this time sheltered in place with delight.  They may look back on this experience as a time in their lives where they had plenty of rest and leisurely days relatively free of stress.  They were happy.

For these kids, school or no school, they will be all right.  I know these kids will be all right.

But, I also know that some of my students are not enjoying this time away from school.  For some students, school, not home, is their safe place.  It is the place they rely on to provide structure, and thus, a sense of control over their lives.  School is where these students access meals, and technology that helps them learn how to be responsible digital citizens. School is where they are surrounded by caring, compassionate adults that help them navigate their academics, emotions, and behavior.  For some, home is a chaotic place with very little structure or stability.  For some of my students, having a home is nothing more than a dream.  For these students, this time is miserable.  Years from now, these students may look back on this time and find it shaded by hours spent alone, bored, insecure about where there next meal is coming from and with no one to talk to.  They might remember this time as being especially stressful for their families, as jobs were lost, bills went unpaid, and the sacrifices they had to make to sustain themselves. They might remember the arguments, the yelling, the fighting that surrounded them as emotions went unchecked and tensions boiled over.

For these kids, I can't help but wonder: will they be all right?  There's no way I can know right now. 

What I do know from my students' stories, though, is that our young ones are incredibly resilient.  Some of them have the wherewithal to apply necessary knowledge and skills to overcome their hardships.  Others of them rely on their social skills to adapt the challenging circumstances.  Some of them have a naturally optimistic, or cultivated, temperament that allows them the ability to find control within their own personal spheres and that allows them to persevere.  All of them will have their coping skills put to the test during this time - for better or worse.  

The hopeful part of me has to believe that the kids will be all right.  The pragmatic part of me knows that we will all see residual effects of this global trauma on our young people for years to come. 

I know that worrying isn't going to change anything about the experiences my students are having.  I know that problems aren't solved with my worrying.  And, I've yet to prevent any bad thing from happening just because I was worried.  But, I also know it's unrealistic for me to not worry.   I worry.  It's part of what I do.  I am compelled to worry.  I worry because I care. 

March 23, 2020 - Day 8: Schooled: An Open Letter to Parents Trying To HomeSchool on the Fly

Dear Parents,

Look, parenting is hard.  There's no doubt about it.  What you do on a daily basis seems impossible to me.  It's impossible to me because I don't (yet) have any of my own biological children.  But, I have our children - everyday - in the classroom.  I teach them, so I know your job is hard.  Teaching is hard, too.

Now, many of you, have found yourselves feeling like you have to take on the yet another job - teaching - on top of your parenting job and the job that, you know, actually pays your bills.  Some of you are jumping into this venture fully committed and enthusiastic, some of you are hesitantly taking on the job because you're feeling the pressure from other parents, social media, etc, and some of you feel forced into this because you can't, in good conscience, allow your child to be on an electronic device for 8 hours a day.  Some of you simply recognize that your local schools will soon be issuing "supplemental learning" activities that will offer your child little access to a certified teacher.  By default, you have quickly become an educator.  You might be feeling invigorated by this new challenge, frustrated, and/or scared to death to have been put in this position.  As an educator for nearly 13 years, I can tell you I've felt enthusiastic, pressured, challenged, frustrated and scared to be taking on a teaching role and sometimes all in the same hour!  So, today, I wanted to write you a letter offering you some words of encouragement through the lessons I've learned from working in the trenches, alongside our children over the years.

Be Purposeful & Intentional
In teaching, the end goal matters.  Be clear on what you want the student to learn and set out to work with the student to achieve that goal.  Without a clear end point, it's impossible to know whether or not you've accomplished what you think you set out to accomplish.

Be a Clear Communicator
Students need their teachers to be impeccable with their words.  Explain thoroughly, but don't succumb to the pressure to over-explain.  Use as few words as necessary to clearly get your point across.  Believe me, our students reach informational overload much quicker than you'd think! But, it's a tricky balance because if you under-explain, they will deftly and expertly exploit any loopholes in the directions or instructions. 

Be a Facilitator
Sometimes as teachers, we feel an overwhelming pressure to have to know it all about whatever our subject is.  Here's the truth: you don't have to know everything.  Shed the unrealistic expectations that you have to know everything about the math, or the reading, or the writing, or the science.  This will allow you to be more of a guide, rather than a know-it-all-about-everything.  No one expects you to know everything, so give yourself some grace.

Be Supportive
I've learned that what kids really want in the classroom is a cheerleader.  Some kids appreciate the deep critique of their work, but most kids want to know what they did well.  Find the things our students are doing well and use those as launch pads into areas of improvement.

Be Patient
Just know from the outset - nothing will go as planned.  No matter how well you think you've got the learning session set up - our students often have a different idea.  These clever kids have an uncanny ability to tap dance on every last nerve that you have, and they will.  Be prepared for that to happen, so they can't throw you off your game.

Be Accepting
Listen, kids are going to make mistakes.  You are, too.  Accept alllllll of the mistakes and then rejoice in them!  Mistakes are proof that students are trying to learn.  Do adults grasp every new concept on the first try?  Not always!  Kids don't either. 

Be Firm, Yet Kind
It might seem like these two ideas are in direct opposition.  They're not.  If you're dedicated to the concept of your child completing certain educational tasks in their day, hold that line, firmly.  Be unyielding about the importance of their learning.  But, KINDLY ensure that your student knows that you are doing this because you CARE SO MUCH about them and their education.  

Be a Listener
Our young people have incredible questions and things to say.  They also have profound concerns.  Listen to what they have to say.  Like, actually, listen.  Early on in my career, I had students outright say, "You're not listening to me!"  And, upon further reflection on those instances, those students were right.  I wasn't listening.  I had to learn that I needed to stop talking in order to hear what the young people were saying.

Be Understanding
Understand that your student is probably having just as difficult a time adjusting to their parent as their new teacher, just as their parent might be having difficulty adjusting from parent to teacher. I've found that a little empathy goes a long way in dealing with other humans - young and old.

Be Reasonable
I'm just going to say it: taking the role of an educator, when you have no training for this, is not reasonable.  You're going to do the best you can with what you have and that's all you can do.  Expecting that you're going to replace the educational system is unreasonable.  Expecting that you're even going to be able to to deliver academic instruction to your child for 6 hours a day is unreasonable.  Make sure that what you're asking of yourself, and your student, is reasonable.  Make sure that what you're asking of yourself, and your student, is reasonable. What feels reasonable one day, may not feel that way the next. That’s to be expected and that’s okay.

Put Your Relationship First
Any educator worth his/her salt knows that the relationships are at the heart of teaching.  You may have noticed I purposely didn't focus on curriculum, materials, and the importance of academics.  The truth of the matter is, the academics always come secondary to the bond between teacher and student.  Children do not learn in academic programs, they learn through relationship first.  Don't get me wrong: academics are important, but they're certainly not THE most important.  The reality is our students might not remember all the lessons we intend to teach them, but they will always remember the way they felt. Whatever your relationship is with your child, that is what they will remember. 

In closing, parents, please know that this educator is with you (from afar) as you make the valiant attempt to provide some sense of normalcy for your child, in what is surely a very abnormal situation.  I respect and honor you for I know what you're up against.  I know it ain't easy!  I’m grateful to you and I appreciate you. I promise you: I see you.  I hear you.  I believe in you and I love you.  You got this!