Dear Parents,
Look, parenting is hard. There's no doubt about it. What you do on a daily basis seems impossible to me. It's impossible to me because I don't (yet) have any of my own biological children. But, I have our children - everyday - in the classroom. I teach them, so I know your job is hard. Teaching is hard, too.
Now, many of you, have found yourselves feeling like you have to take on the yet another job - teaching - on top of your parenting job and the job that, you know, actually pays your bills. Some of you are jumping into this venture fully committed and enthusiastic, some of you are hesitantly taking on the job because you're feeling the pressure from other parents, social media, etc, and some of you feel forced into this because you can't, in good conscience, allow your child to be on an electronic device for 8 hours a day. Some of you simply recognize that your local schools will soon be issuing "supplemental learning" activities that will offer your child little access to a certified teacher. By default, you have quickly become an educator. You might be feeling invigorated by this new challenge, frustrated, and/or scared to death to have been put in this position. As an educator for nearly 13 years, I can tell you I've felt enthusiastic, pressured, challenged, frustrated and scared to be taking on a teaching role and sometimes all in the same hour! So, today, I wanted to write you a letter offering you some words of encouragement through the lessons I've learned from working in the trenches, alongside our children over the years.
Be Purposeful & Intentional
In teaching, the end goal matters. Be clear on what you want the student to learn and set out to work with the student to achieve that goal. Without a clear end point, it's impossible to know whether or not you've accomplished what you think you set out to accomplish.
Be a Clear Communicator
Students need their teachers to be impeccable with their words. Explain thoroughly, but don't succumb to the pressure to over-explain. Use as few words as necessary to clearly get your point across. Believe me, our students reach informational overload much quicker than you'd think! But, it's a tricky balance because if you under-explain, they will deftly and expertly exploit any loopholes in the directions or instructions.
Be a Facilitator
Sometimes as teachers, we feel an overwhelming pressure to have to know it all about whatever our subject is. Here's the truth: you don't have to know everything. Shed the unrealistic expectations that you have to know everything about the math, or the reading, or the writing, or the science. This will allow you to be more of a guide, rather than a know-it-all-about-everything. No one expects you to know everything, so give yourself some grace.
Be Supportive
I've learned that what kids really want in the classroom is a cheerleader. Some kids appreciate the deep critique of their work, but most kids want to know what they did well. Find the things our students are doing well and use those as launch pads into areas of improvement.
Be Patient
Just know from the outset - nothing will go as planned. No matter how well you think you've got the learning session set up - our students often have a different idea. These clever kids have an uncanny ability to tap dance on every last nerve that you have, and they will. Be prepared for that to happen, so they can't throw you off your game.
Be Accepting
Listen, kids are going to make mistakes. You are, too. Accept alllllll of the mistakes and then rejoice in them! Mistakes are proof that students are trying to learn. Do adults grasp every new concept on the first try? Not always! Kids don't either.
Be Firm, Yet Kind
It might seem like these two ideas are in direct opposition. They're not. If you're dedicated to the concept of your child completing certain educational tasks in their day, hold that line, firmly. Be unyielding about the importance of their learning. But, KINDLY ensure that your student knows that you are doing this because you CARE SO MUCH about them and their education.
Be a Listener
Our young people have incredible questions and things to say. They also have profound concerns. Listen to what they have to say. Like, actually, listen. Early on in my career, I had students outright say, "You're not listening to me!" And, upon further reflection on those instances, those students were right. I wasn't listening. I had to learn that I needed to stop talking in order to hear what the young people were saying.
Be Understanding
Understand that your student is probably having just as difficult a
time adjusting to their parent as their new teacher, just as their parent might be
having difficulty adjusting from parent to teacher. I've found that a little empathy goes a long way in dealing with other humans - young and old.
Be Reasonable
I'm just going to say it: taking the role of an educator, when you have no training for this, is not reasonable. You're going to do the best you can with what you have and that's all you can do. Expecting that you're going to replace the educational system is unreasonable. Expecting that you're even going to be able to to deliver academic instruction to your child for 6 hours a day is unreasonable. Make sure that what you're asking of yourself, and your student, is reasonable. Make sure that what you're asking of yourself, and your student,
is reasonable. What feels reasonable one day, may not feel that way the
next. That’s to be expected and that’s okay.
Put Your Relationship First
Any educator worth his/her salt knows that the relationships are at the heart of teaching. You may have noticed I purposely didn't focus on curriculum, materials, and the importance of academics. The truth of the matter is, the academics always come secondary to the bond between teacher and student. Children do not learn in academic programs, they learn through relationship first. Don't get me wrong: academics are important, but they're certainly not THE most important. The reality is our students might not remember all the lessons we intend to teach them, but they will always remember the way they felt. Whatever your relationship is with your child, that is what they will remember.
In closing, parents, please know that this educator is with you (from afar) as you make the valiant attempt to provide some sense of normalcy for your child, in what is surely a very abnormal situation. I respect and honor you for I know what you're up against. I know it ain't easy! I’m grateful to you and I appreciate you. I promise you: I see you. I hear you. I believe in you and I love you. You got this!
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